It’s a beautiful time when we go inward for our healing instead of looking outside of our self.
There is nothing we can do to make somebody else take responsibility for his or her own actions. The only thing we can do is to make sure that we are taking full responsibility for our own actions and not getting wrapped up in the drama that is caused by them not accepting theirs.
When we start to understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of what is inside of us, we see that there is no one to blame for the issues in our lives. When it comes to a difficult childhood or difficulties in a current relationship it is always a mirror of our old belief system that is inside of us.
It would seem to make sense to blame our fathers dysfunctional behavior for our bad relationships with the men in our life or our mothers criticism for our low sense of self. This is what our egos want to do. Instead of taking full responsibility for our own triggers, project them on to someone else.
The problem with this is that when we blame others for things that have happened or are happening that trigger us, we are in the wrong place for healing. I love what a lot of teachers say about every event being a neutral experience until our skewed minds say something about it. So each persons mind will say something different about the situation depending upon the lens they are seeing through.
The ego always wants to blame someone, even ourselves, which is a very aggressive action we take onto others and ourselves. When we are in a position of blaming someone for how we feel it puts us in a very powerless position where they have to change their behaviors for us to feel good. This is why it is critical for us to take full responsibility for how we feel and not project them onto someone else. The only way true healing can happen is taking full ownership of our feelings and shifting the underlying limiting beliefs.
Yes It is a beautiful time when we go inward for our healing instead of looking outside of our self!
If you are looking for support around being more conscious, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
When working with mothers and daughters, I notice that there is a lot of regret and an unwillingness to forgive. Regret can be something we have for things we have done in the past to others or ourselves. Mothers usually have regret about not showing up a certain way for their daughters. It is so important to forgive our inability to parent without having the tools we need at that given time. Forgiveness is so important and to grant us the grace for being human in those moments.
Daughters may have regrets about how they behaved while growing up and causing their parents such grief in their younger years. This also requires forgiveness and just knowing that you did the best that you could with a very young mind. We only know what we know in that moment and shouldn’t beat ourselves up for our blind spots.
Other regrets can just be about certain things in our past that we did or didn’t do and again we can only do what we are capable of doing and that particular moment. There is no reason to regret past situations. Each and every situation that happens, happens for our higher learning. The best thing we can do is embrace all of our past moments and behaviors and bring love to them.
When we hold on to regret it’s like having our past tied to us, which makes it tough to move forward. It saps our energy leaving us less available for the present moment because we are always in the past. Constantly feeding that part of our life can cause sickness as well. If we aren’t living in the moment and were feeding old issues it can create illness in our bodies.
Living in the past and our old issues can also re-create them because we are putting so much energy into the old belief. When we have regret it means we haven’t moved through or healed our old beliefs or childhood wounds.
When we bring in forgiveness it heals our regret. There are so many ways we can work on forgiving. The biggest thing I believe is to have an understanding that every situation plays out a certain way for my higher learning. When I have this way of thinking it helps me either not going to regret at all or forgive myself for something I was regretting. If you are struggling with regret and not able to forgive either yourself or someone else, you may want to have a conversation with the other person or even your inner child. Discuss what happened and come up with a way to let go, forgive, and move forward.
If you are looking for support around being more conscious, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
We are always pushing up against life to get things to go the way we think they need to go. We want things to go the way we envision them to go. We set goals and we do mantra’s to bring in what we want in our life. Then when life doesn’t happen the way we wanted it to, we think we’ve done something wrong, that we must have made a mistake somewhere along the line.
Of course we all want to be happy, healthy and thriving in our life, which is a pretty natural and human quality. But what happens when we don’t achieve what we want? Maybe our health is compromised, maybe there’s a breakup in partnership. Then what? Then we become unhappy because things aren’t going our way.
What if this is just life? What if all of our trials and tribulations are for our higher learning and not something we did wrong or a big mistake? What if a health issue is also for our higher learning? Can we be okay with life not going the way we think it needs to be going? If we can’t be okay with life being life, then we will suffer. Everything in life is designed to shine a light on our unconsciousness and deepen our evolution.
A lot of times it takes something major to happen in our life for us to wake up and shift. It is this loss of control that enables us to see things differently. It reminds us to let go and be in the flow of what the universe has planned for us for our higher learning. We get in the way of the flow of the universe with trying to control the outcome of our situations. Then when things don’t turn out the way we want them to we get upset and feel like something went awry. Which is not the case at all, most times when things don’t go the way we want them to go, there is a deeper reason for why they turned out the way they did.
I go back to eight years ago when I was trying to sell my home with no luck at all. I had a plan that I thought was best for me and so when I didn’t sell my home I got a little aggravated. What I’ve come to realize is that not selling my home was for my highest good. I did not know that at the time, but the universe did.
So something as simple as being okay when things don’t go our way and just knowing that the outcome no matter what is for our higher good. Breathe and relax and sink into a knowing that you don’t have to control anything.
If you are looking for support around being more conscious, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
How to realize your potential and recognize your growth!
A part of recognizing our growth is actually looking back at what we have done and how we have shifted our limiting beliefs. When we recognize our areas of transformation, we see what potential we have come into.
Because we are with ourselves 24/7 it is difficult to see our growth. It is like being a parent and having your children growing up, you don’t notice them growing because you are with them everyday. When an outside person sees them, they completely notice how much they have grown. It’s the same thing with our self. It’s a good idea to take an inventory on what old beliefs you have been shifting and how you are showing up differently in your life.
When we examine our old beliefs and the attached behaviors it is a good barometer for where we are and how our outside world is showing up differently for us. If we don’t take inventory occasionally we will think we are hovering in one place when actually were not. When I look at my list of old beliefs I get excited because I can see exactly which ones have shifted or I am still shifting. Even though I have shifted a belief I don’t delete it off my list because it helps me see my progress. Leaving it on the list also helps me in case I fall back.
I’m not big on setting goals but I do want to realize my potential. But my potential isn’t outside of me; my potential is my personal growth. I feel like as long as I am constantly becoming more self-aware and growing, the outside world shows up exactly the way it needs to, to support my growth. This way I am not trying to control or force things that happen in my life, I’m more in the place of surrender.
I know that I am co-creating with the universe, all I need to do is get out of the way and stop controlling everything, so it can play out in a way that is for my higher good. The first thing to do is to surrender and accept life exactly the way it is, so we can realize our potential. The second thing to do is keep a tally on how you are shifting so that you can recognize the growth that you have had and become more aware of how to shift current limiting beliefs that you are still playing out.
If you are looking for support around being more conscious, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Why would you use your mother daughter relationship to grow?
The mother-daughter relationship is our biggest opportunity for waking up and growing. We have two relationships in our life for optimum growth possibilities; the first one is the mother-daughter relationship and the second one is with our primary partner. Both of these relationships offer the greatest chance for us to break old patterns and shift.
When I work with couples and mother daughters, the retreats are so profound. When two people understand the work and do it together the transformations are epic. When they recognize what their wounding is, and how they projected onto each other, it helps them shift more rapidly. When both parties are practicing the work together they are actually able to be clearer because the other person is holding them accountable. It is hard to bust ourselves when we are acting out of our old beliefs, so when we have a partner that is able to see our actions and help us see it with love, the possibility for change is way more probable.
Quite often when I work with individuals their partners see a significant change in them so they end up coming to me in a couples retreat because the husband wants to have them shifts himself. The mother-daughter retreats help both the mother and daughter relate to each other in a completely different way. Instead of relating through their wounded inner child they are connecting with each other through their higher more mature self.
I have seen many mother-daughters’ come to me with arms folded, not speaking to each other and leave holding each other and smiling. It truly is a beautiful process to be a part of.
We all have wounding and old beliefs. If we do not do the healing of these inner child wounds, we will act out of them. The biggest places they show up are in our most important relationships. Looking at your triggers and exploring your limiting beliefs with your important relationships or any situation is the greatest opportunity for growth.
If you are looking to grow through your relationships in your life, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Learning to not react from our triggers, can be a life savers!
It’s amazing how fast we react when we get triggered. If we are not constantly being the observer and watching ourselves the heat of the trigger can hijack us. It doesn’t matter if the feelings are anger, fear or sadness if we get hijacked because of our old belief system there is no healing there is only an expansion of the lower self.
If we get taken away by our triggers and into the story, we may find ourselves seeking revenge, isolating or just simply reacting to our emotional body in some way. All of these behaviors put us out of alignment and make us feel unbalanced.
It’s going to be very hard to recognize and handle your reactions if you’re not in a daily practice of being conscious. It’s important to pay attention in each moment what the universe is setting up for us for our higher learning. When we get triggered it’s just an opportunity to go deeper into our learning.
If possible, you need to recognize the trigger immediately and take two big deep breaths relaxing your body and relax your heart, this allows you a little bit of distance between the trigger and your emotions. It’s a chance to look at what old beliefs you are buying into. A few common old limiting beliefs are; I’m not good enough, I’m always doing something wrong, I’m inadequate, I’m not lovable.
When we scratch up against our limiting beliefs we get an emotional reaction, it’s critical that we observe what’s going on instead of being it. I love what Michael Singer of the Untethered Soul says about watching a movie. You know you’re not in the movie you know that you’re watching it, is the same with our life. Can you be the observer of your life and watch it instead of being it? When we get triggered we get sucked into our old beliefs and then we react. It’s important to just recognize that the trigger is simply rubbing up against our old beliefs that aren’t the truth.
Create a daily practice of observing this part of yourself wrapped up in the old beliefs that you have. Start the morning by setting an intention to notice when you’re acting out of your lower self and at the end of day with seeing where you fell down.
If you are looking for support around being more conscious, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Do you feel run down when you do your emotional process?
Sometimes I notice that when I am deep in my emotional work that I started to feel a little achy, like I have the flu. Sometimes it shows up with a headache or just fatigue. I will often think that I am coming down with something when actually it’s just detoxing from my emotional process.
It is important to recognize these symptoms and go deeper into the feelings of possible sadness, anger, or hopelessness. This is a very natural part of any cleansing process whether it is emotions or a physical. When we do our deep inner work many times we will have flulike symptoms. When we explore our emotions and old belief systems it often prompts deep shifts and external changes that may affect our bodies.
When our bodies start to feel tired because of this inner-process it is a call to action to take a break, relax and just allow these feelings and process to take place. It’s always good during these times to not push ourselves physically and just listen to our bodies and honor the process so that we can have breakthroughs.
When you notice that you aren’t feeling good, stay connected to your inner work and continue to move through it but also make sure you have extra downtime and get enough sleep. You’re going to want to support your body with nourishing foods plenty of water and more relaxation.
It’s important during this time to practice surrendering and letting go, sometimes holding on or resisting keeps us stuck in our process and that is where the body may start having symptoms of illness.
This is a natural process and getting to the other side feels very freeing both emotionally and physically.
If you are looking for support around your emotional work, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
What does it look like to get out of other peoples business and deal with your own?
Our biggest problem with our personal growth is that we stick our nose in other peoples business instead of staying in our own lane and paying attention to what’s going on inside of us.
When something comes up and we get triggered, our first reaction is to look outside of our self and fix it. If our partner does something that triggers us, we look at how we can change his or her behavior to make us feel better. This leaves us in a place of having to change outside interferences to feel better inside of our self. Impossible quest!
This is the first and biggest mistake we make in handling our feelings. If we look outside of our self to feel better, we expand our old beliefs; miss the learning, lose the connection to our higher self and our self.
Stay in your own lane!
When a trigger comes up it’s very hard to not blame others for how we feel and put the responsibility on them to make us feel better. The problem with this behavior is that we are in the wrong place, in the wrong lane. If we are feeling something, it has nothing to do with someone else; they didn’t do anything to us.
The only way to do your healing is to except full responsibility for your own feelings and make it an inside job. As you bring it inside of you, breathe and relax your whole body. As your body starts to release, then relax your heart. Stay out of the story line of what happened and only allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Just be with the feeling and breathe and relax and let go and imagine the feeling releasing from your body.
If you do this every time you have a trigger, you will begin to heal your wounds from the past instead of creating more. Bring it in and heal, instead of projecting it outward and creating more.
It’s a beautiful process but sometimes can be tough, but it’s not as tough as the frenetic energy of your trigger when it’s projected outside of you.
If you are looking at how to do your personal work without drama, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
It’s amazing how good I feel while hanging out by the creek, hiking in the mountains or simply walking barefoot in the grass. As amazing as I feel when I’m close to nature, I’m always so shocked by how hard it is for me to get to it.
Our lives are so busy with working, family schedules and other obligations that we become completely disconnected from the earth. Unless of course you have a job that is outside, which most of us don’t.
Spending time in nature helps us connect to other living beings besides humans and connect and be nurtured by mother Earth. Something I notice while being in nature is how connected I feel to myself. How grounded I feel as I experience the creek, the red rocks of Sedona and again even my front yard because I have grass.
Even if you live in a big city there are simple ways you can connect to nature. One of the simplest ways is to just look up at the sky and take a deep breath and connect with the clouds, the sun and the sky. Experience feeling the cool or warm air on your face or maybe just smell a flower as you’re walking down the street.
Anything we can do to connect us with nature feeds our soul. Every time we connect with nature and it feeds our soul it reminds us that we are completely connected with everything and everyone. When we feel connected, feelings of loneliness tend to be lighter.
Pay attention every time you walk outside even if it’s just to go to your car and drive somewhere. Look at nature around you and connect to it. I have a lot of plants inside my house that brings nature inside. If you live in the city where there isn’t a lot of trees or nature, look at getting foliage for the inside of your house. The mere fact that I know my plants are alive, while I’m watering them connects me to them in nature.
Slowdown, pay attention and connect with nature in any way that is possible for you.
If you are looking at doing a personal retreat, couples or mother daughter retreat in one of the most beautiful places in the world, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Creating a sanctuary in your home for your own happiness.
I have always been a big believer in making our home a place that is relaxing, comforting and a sanctuary. A few things that you can do to make your home and oasis is: first and foremost decorating your personal space to your liking. If you are surrounded by objects you don’t like or resonate and simple don’t like, it has an affect on your psyche. So it is very important to be surrounded by things you love and enjoy. This is just one simple thing you can do.
It also helps to be organized and comfortable in their home because it has a very calming effect on you and everyone that comes into your home. I noticed that when things are a little unorganized even in my office I tend to feel out of alignment. I know that this can be difficult when you have younger children and animals in your home, but I feel that it’s really important.
Soft lighting and colors that are soothing like purples, greens and blues can also make your home feel warm. Aromatherapy is another way of bringing a calm into your home with lavender and other scents that make you feel tranquil. Music with a rhythm that stays constant instead of something that jumps all over the place also helps. Other peaceful sounds like chimes and fountains also create a serene environment.
Be aware of the energy that your furniture could possibly be holding as well. Sometimes when furniture is used it may be bringing in the energy from past owners and you might need to smudge it or clear it any other way that you can. I think smudging your home regularly and burning incense is also a way of making your home feel more like a sanctuary.
Whatever it is that you do to feel good in your home is important, but the most important thing to remember is to keep your mind calm and create a sanctuary inside yourself as well.
If you are looking at how you might create a more serene environment within your home and mind, check out my retreats and mentoring. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Retreats can be a great time to go inward, renew and gain a new perspective. It allows us to go deeper into ourselves so that we can emerge in a whole new way. It’s important for us to just stop and step away from the busyness of our world so that we can gain a new awareness of what’s going on.
Vacations don’t hold the same strength as retreats do because on vacations we are still in a mode of doing not being. During the retreat we have time to rest, reflect, heal and renew.
The retreats that I offer, whether it is an adult mother-daughter retreat, a couple’s retreat, or an intensive individual retreat, will allow you to reflect on your life and reawaken to your passion and purpose. My retreats help you connect with your inner self and heart, so you can start to live your life in a more authentic way.
Being on retreat allows you to pull away from family issues, the Internet, relationships and deadlines you may have so that you can go into a quiet place to reflect. Reflecting on our feelings and being able to release them will help us live our life in a more directed and creative way.
With all of my retreats you will have enough time to be with yourself and reflect while also having the guidance of moving through tough issues you’re having. I think going into a silent retreat is wonderful when we have a firm grasp on what old beliefs are running our lives. If you are still in a place where you have drama from your past a silent retreat will only bring temporary relief.
It’s important to remove our blocks so that we might be able to go into a place of silence with more peace. Going into a silent retreat without this would be like trying to take a nap while 10 kids are playing in your napping area. Probably not going to happen!
If you are looking at moving through some tough issues to get to a clear more peaceful place, check out my retreats. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
Most of the time we are in a slow growth process when it comes to our evolution. Every once in a while we have bursts of breakthroughs that seem like we shift on a dime. But most commonly it’s a slow, gradual process.
Because it is a slower process it’s hard to recognize the changes that we made in our lives. But it’s very important to do check in’s to see where we are at. This is why I love journaling so much because I get to look back and see where I was and where I am.
When we bring intention into our process and recognize how far we’ve come and celebrated it, it actually compounds the growth and makes the shifts even bigger. Most often when I bring my attention into the growth that I have just experienced it really cements the learning.
It’s important to look at your life as the observer seeing how your life differs from one moment to the next and how your growth has expanded. I think it’s great to create lists or journal about the progress that we’ve made either with our spiritual growth or even physical world. Maybe we’ve had progress with our job, or our workout regime or our eating habits. It’s nice to acknowledge our progress.
We continuously change as we evolve. Our attitudes, our opinions, our values can even be different, so it’s nice to notice our differences and also be open to accept that we have more to learn.
Giving yourself credit for how far you’ve come is an important part of our growth. When I work with clients for long periods of time I noticed that they don’t remember where they were and they have a feeling of being stuck until I bring attention to where they were and how much they’d shifted. A lot of times just being in the day-to-day situations, we forget how far we’ve come.
Our evolution is a fact of life and needs to be celebrated. Knowing that we are wiser, and more grounded than we were and that we will continue to grow is powerful. By recognizing our growth we build a strong foundation to continue to grow in the future.
If you would like to explore shifting and evolving in a powerful way, check out my retreats. The individual intensive, the couples retreat, or the mother-daughter retreat, you will learn about yourself and how to clean up your past so you can move through this life with love and passion.
